my one year mark

It's been about a year since I graduated from college, I just did my own taxes for the first time ever (ok, yeah my dad was on the phone for moral support), tomorrow I will have officially been at my "big girl job" for 6 months, and honestly I am still the most clueless human on the planet. I'm pretty sure I've been in at the very least a mild panic ever since about 3 weeks before I graduated, so if you have your cap and gown ready to go and you haven't turned into a future terrified creature who just wants to crawl in a hole and hide from all responsibility, congratulations, I am honestly so very proud of you.

To celebrate that I've been an "adult" for a year now, I did what all responsible adults do and dyed my hair green (but, just the ends of it cause I'm too scared to bleach all my hair). My boss never commented on it so he never noticed, he doesn't care, or he didn't have the heart to tell me that it isn't totally appropriate to show up at your big girl job with green hair. I'm just gunna roll with it and not worry.

I've been gearing myself up for a lot of changes recently and adding a little green to my hair wasn't even part of that. Let's be honest, I am not one of those girls that feels dramatic and changes up her hair. I've basically had the same haircut (aside from a brief adventure into fringe land) for almost my whole life now. But I am *fingers crossed that I can actually find a place* moving to Salt Lake at the end of the month and that has got me feeling all kinds of adult and nervous. If you know of an open place for me to live in Salt Lake please let me know, or if you live in Salt Lake, please prepare to be my friend because I am not going to have any.

(hi this is the best I could do at a image slideshow. please help me if you know how to make this more beautiful?)

Here's to making the rest of my time in Provo worth it, and to drinking all of the dc lav limes (diet coke with lavender and lime from Sodalicious, obviously), and to actually finding housing so that I don't tell everyone I'm leaving and end up just staying here at Bromont in good ole' P-Town for forever!!!!

my last few months

I refuse to apologize for not blogging for the past few months because: 1. You probably didn't really mind and 2. I don't really feel that bad. Turns out that shoving everything you want to do, and all the people you want to see, and the errands you have to get done into your day when 9–5 (plus travel time) is taken from you on a daily basis is actually pretty difficult to do.

So what might you ask has happened to me in the past 2 1/2 months? Well stuff made me happy, and stuff made me sad, and a few more things have made me feel anxious (just kidding, that's just my perpetual state of being), and something made me really happy (but also kinda anxious, obviously), and that's enough about me and my feelings, huh?

But, in case you still feel like that just wasn't quite enough information (but I've already given you so much!), I'll walk you through a few more things that honestly you probably already know about because of social media:

I got to be there for my best friend when she got sealed to her other best friend in the LDS San Diego Temple, and it was magical and wonderful and made me feel all jittery and excited and happy for her. I was all kinds of worried that I was going to feel bummed and alone at the wedding, but honestly I felt nothing but the best vibes because I think I was just too dang happy for my Hily to think about anything else.

I checked out some fish with my guppy KatieMac, and I just wandered around looking at fish and feeling like the most blessed human alive to have a best friend (it's a tier not a title, yeah I have a few) who understands me so well and who is willing to make fishy faces at fish with me and understands when I send her crazy long vents one day and gushes about how perfect everything is the next day and never complains about it.

I made a great escape from Provo and headed down to St. George, and I just didn't really take many pictures, because sometimes I'm just feeling so good that I don't want to look at the world through a lens, but I just want to be wherever I am fully and completely and without having to think about lighting and looking good. This was one of those trips and I liked that a lot about it thanks to the people around me and good ole' mother nature. Feeling happy is nice, don't ya think?

And then this weekend my parents came to visit me in Utah, and we skied and snowmobiled, and it was really amazing. Not just because we had fun, but because it's always nice to be reminded that I don't just love my parents, but I actually really like them. Plus, sometimes I convince them to take selfies with me, which is cool.

Well, I feel like that is all the information that the internet is privy to. I've had people tell me before that they know more about me from my blog than actually interacting with me, and that kind of made me sad. So, I've been trying so hard recently to be a more open human in real life and to every once in a while talk about my feelings and tell people nice things, and it's hard, but I'm trying, and I really think I'm getting better and maybe that's also why I have been so absent on my blog and social media for the past little bit. So maybe I'll blog again tomorrow and maybe I'll never blog again (but probably not cause I actually am now remembering how much I enjoy this), but until them I hope to see you in the non-internet world too.

peace. love. and catching up.

my first day

It's official, this girl is employed. No, seriously. I got a job.

I started my first ever "real" job this Wednesday as a writer for a health company in Salt Lake. It's quite the commute (hello two hours on a train every morning and evening), but I think I'm going to really like my new office. It's a great company, everyone there has been very welcoming, and I mean, I'm working as a writer in a city, how cool is that? 

On the left is my office building (I'm a little bit obsessed with it). On the right it my first day of work outfit... (excuse the mirror selfie--fashion blogging is clearly not what this is all about).

My first day may have been one of the most overwhelming and terrifying days of my life. We happened to have a ton of meetings that day, and I sat in every single one really wanting to contribute but having no idea what anyone was talking about. I also kept getting the question, "Where were you working before this?" Oh, what? You mean that you all aren't fresh out of college babies like me who have no idea what they are doing? The thought that I kept repeating to myself all day was everyone has had a first day. I just wanted to remind myself that even though I feel lost right now, that every single person in that office had been in my shoes before and hopefully they understood exactly what I was going through.

I know that it's going to be really hard being gone every day from 7:00 am to 7:00 pm, and that I am going to spend a lot of time at work being swamped and overwhelmed, and I no longer get summer breaks or long holidays (enjoy those all you kids still in school), but as one of my friends reminded me on Thursday, not many people can say that they are doing something they love (writing) and actually getting to use their skills that they worked so hard in college (bye all you haters who asked me what I was going to with an English major). 

Mmm I do love my little walk from the TRAX to my office. SLC is beautiful on fall mornings!

Thank you to those who were so supportive in the job hunt process (especially my parents who let me play all summer). I couldn't be more grateful that I took the time and waited until I found the right position. There were a few times that I started questioning if my dream of being a writer was out of reach, but here I am. I feel amazingly blessed to have this opportunity, and I can't wait to see where it takes me.

peace. love. and employment.

my dreams

Last Tuesday, my friend Katie and I went to an exhibit up in Salt Lake called The Dreamathon. It was put on by a few of my friends and a company that they started called The Dream Press, and I have been real excited to see it ever since hearing about it from them. They brought local artists into an abandoned high school and transformed an empty building into a work of art.

Katie and I may or may not have intentionally worn matching outfits for the occasion, but that's not the only reason we had a blast. I loved seeing all of the funky, cool, and interesting creations that they made in this school. A tribute to dreaming and following your dreams is exactly what this pool bum who is trying to figure out what she is going to be doing with her life needed. 

Ok, I guess I should go figure out what my dreams are so I can chase them.

peace. love. and dreams.

p.s. If you are in Utah they will be reopening the exhibit at Granite High School in Salt Lake City on Friday and Saturday from 10:00 am to 10:00 pm.

my night out

Last week was rough. I had six essays and a portfolio due all in a three day time span, and there were a few times when I was not so sure I was going to get through it all. But, of course I was just being dramatic and feeling way too stressed, and I got everything done. So this weekend, other than having to pop by a couple review sessions, I decided I was just going to relax and enjoy being done with my essays. I felt like I deserved it. And, perfect timing, one of my friends had her bachelorette party on Friday night, and I cannot imagine a better way to celebrate being done with the worst week of my semester than going out with all my favorite girls. We went to a piano bar in Salt Lake danced, laughed, had fun, and it was almost like we were freshmen again back when we weren't so stressed and were way more carefree.

The whole crew. These girls are the greatest. So blessed to have met girls like these my freshmen year.

 I could not be more excited for the upcoming nuptials of my cute friend Ashley. I am bummed that I won't be able to make it to her wedding, but happy that I got to be a part of the pre-celebration.

So lucky to have friends like Al in my life. And so glad she is still willing to slip away from her hubby every once in a while to spend a night out with the girls. 

Congrats Ash!!! I love you.

Well, now just a few tests and I am home free. Literally going home and free from having to think about anything school related over the break. Guilt free lounging around. I can't wait. 

and of course, it's almost Christmas!!!

peace. love. and going out.