my last few months

I refuse to apologize for not blogging for the past few months because: 1. You probably didn't really mind and 2. I don't really feel that bad. Turns out that shoving everything you want to do, and all the people you want to see, and the errands you have to get done into your day when 9–5 (plus travel time) is taken from you on a daily basis is actually pretty difficult to do.

So what might you ask has happened to me in the past 2 1/2 months? Well stuff made me happy, and stuff made me sad, and a few more things have made me feel anxious (just kidding, that's just my perpetual state of being), and something made me really happy (but also kinda anxious, obviously), and that's enough about me and my feelings, huh?

But, in case you still feel like that just wasn't quite enough information (but I've already given you so much!), I'll walk you through a few more things that honestly you probably already know about because of social media:

I got to be there for my best friend when she got sealed to her other best friend in the LDS San Diego Temple, and it was magical and wonderful and made me feel all jittery and excited and happy for her. I was all kinds of worried that I was going to feel bummed and alone at the wedding, but honestly I felt nothing but the best vibes because I think I was just too dang happy for my Hily to think about anything else.

I checked out some fish with my guppy KatieMac, and I just wandered around looking at fish and feeling like the most blessed human alive to have a best friend (it's a tier not a title, yeah I have a few) who understands me so well and who is willing to make fishy faces at fish with me and understands when I send her crazy long vents one day and gushes about how perfect everything is the next day and never complains about it.

I made a great escape from Provo and headed down to St. George, and I just didn't really take many pictures, because sometimes I'm just feeling so good that I don't want to look at the world through a lens, but I just want to be wherever I am fully and completely and without having to think about lighting and looking good. This was one of those trips and I liked that a lot about it thanks to the people around me and good ole' mother nature. Feeling happy is nice, don't ya think?

And then this weekend my parents came to visit me in Utah, and we skied and snowmobiled, and it was really amazing. Not just because we had fun, but because it's always nice to be reminded that I don't just love my parents, but I actually really like them. Plus, sometimes I convince them to take selfies with me, which is cool.

Well, I feel like that is all the information that the internet is privy to. I've had people tell me before that they know more about me from my blog than actually interacting with me, and that kind of made me sad. So, I've been trying so hard recently to be a more open human in real life and to every once in a while talk about my feelings and tell people nice things, and it's hard, but I'm trying, and I really think I'm getting better and maybe that's also why I have been so absent on my blog and social media for the past little bit. So maybe I'll blog again tomorrow and maybe I'll never blog again (but probably not cause I actually am now remembering how much I enjoy this), but until them I hope to see you in the non-internet world too.

peace. love. and catching up.

my night out

Last week was rough. I had six essays and a portfolio due all in a three day time span, and there were a few times when I was not so sure I was going to get through it all. But, of course I was just being dramatic and feeling way too stressed, and I got everything done. So this weekend, other than having to pop by a couple review sessions, I decided I was just going to relax and enjoy being done with my essays. I felt like I deserved it. And, perfect timing, one of my friends had her bachelorette party on Friday night, and I cannot imagine a better way to celebrate being done with the worst week of my semester than going out with all my favorite girls. We went to a piano bar in Salt Lake danced, laughed, had fun, and it was almost like we were freshmen again back when we weren't so stressed and were way more carefree.

The whole crew. These girls are the greatest. So blessed to have met girls like these my freshmen year.

 I could not be more excited for the upcoming nuptials of my cute friend Ashley. I am bummed that I won't be able to make it to her wedding, but happy that I got to be a part of the pre-celebration.

So lucky to have friends like Al in my life. And so glad she is still willing to slip away from her hubby every once in a while to spend a night out with the girls. 

Congrats Ash!!! I love you.

Well, now just a few tests and I am home free. Literally going home and free from having to think about anything school related over the break. Guilt free lounging around. I can't wait. 

and of course, it's almost Christmas!!!

peace. love. and going out.

my friend Gretch gets hitched. oh boy

So we have been making bets since Freshmen year as to "who would be the first to get married" and this weekend my sweet Gretchen won. I met her my very first week at BYU and have been friends with her ever since so it is absolutely wild to me that she is married now, but I am SO incredibly happy for her because I know that she is SO incredibly happy. Her wedding was a blast and a half, since you know it was kind of like a big dance party with all the friends that I would have hung out that night anyways.

 These are my fantastic, wonderful, any great adjective that you can think to describe them roommates. #ilovethem

 And on the left is the bride. Doesn't Gretchen look perfect? Mostly cause she is perfect. It's whateves. And on the right is my fellow southern bell Alison. I adore her. Completely. 

Obvs we were having a great time. #partytime #imsingle #isthatembaressingtosayhere?

I don't know clearly I'm feeling the hashtag thing right now. #sorryimnotsorry (follow me on twitter @cronqie)

In other news, BYU lost in the holy war against the Utes, but at least it was a good game. 

Also, there was the most spectacular sunset tonight. 

This picture doesn't do it justice. But it was fantastic. Literally. 

So I guess that's about it. Wait what? You thought I was going to write a whole blog post without mentioning India once? That's weird. Well, today was my month mark of being back in the US. Longest I have been here since January. I feel like I was there yesterday. I glow just thinking of going back :)

well anyways.

peace. love. and mawiage. 

my day of silence

     Usually at one point every year, I lose my voice. Unfortunately, and I suppose fortunately a little bit too as I discovered this happened this week. After catching a cold, my voice had been on the downhill. I figured that I could let my voice rest before I totally lost it, or wear it out until it wouldn’t work at all. Being the talker that I am, and figuring that I would rather rest my voice only when I had to, I wore it completely out. Like, couldn’t get a sound out when I woke up Thursday morning wore it out. I made a little “I lost my voice, so I can’t speak sign” and decided that not using my voice wouldn’t stop me from communicating that day.

 I tried this out starting at lunch time. The children reacted with

            a. disbelief and begging me to talk
            b. thinking this was hilarious
            c. being deeply concerned

     I first tried communicating with mime, after realizing that either I am very bad at charades or everyone else is really bad at guessing, I attempted writing things down. But, this takes a lot of wasteful paper. This is when I moved onto just typing messages onto my iPhone and sowing them to people. The kids loved this, and it was probably great for them to practice a little reading comprehension. I had fun typing them out messages, and then having to show it to each boy individually if he had heard the question or not, they needed to see what the answer was.
     Later that day when I was helping take names for some dentist check-ups, one of the girls Sonia (a 10^th standard girl who is an absolute gem) saw my “can’t speak” note, and took it from me right away. When she handed it back she had written “We will be praying for you to get your voice back! Feel better.” I thought that was so incredibly sweet of her and I am sure her prayers were part of restoring my voice.


     As I spent my time in silence on Thursday, I had a lot of time to think about how amazing communication is. Not only do we have language which is incredible on its own, but there is so much more to the way that we communicate with each other than just through words. There is facial expression, body language, touch, eyes, everything about the way we act communicates how we feel and react. I hear so many volunteers come to India and express their extreme frustration with being unable to speak the same language as the people. Certainly, I feel this same frustration at times too, but I also see it as exciting. Too often we rely on words to express how we feel, when our actions can say so much more. We seek some sort of verbal confirmation that we are on the right track or to know that we are on the same wavelength as our neighbors, when if we would pay attention to what the others around us are doing and how they are reacting we would know. It was, in a way, a gift that I was unable to speak on Thursday. God works in interesting ways, and I think that this was his way of giving me a small glimpse of how sometimes if I pay less attention to what I am saying and what others are saying to me, and more to what I am doing and what others actions are in return, I could learn so much more and probably speak (you know, when I have a voice) with much more wisdom. 

As a treat for reading through my ramblings, here are some pictures from Sharmyla's wedding. I was blessed to work with and become very close with Sharmyla when she working at Rising Star, and I was honored to be given a personal invitation to her wedding and get to see her again. I bought a new sari just for the occasion.

The ceremony was lovely and Sharmyla looked SO PRETTY. As soon as I walked into the reception Sharmyla and I both gave each other the biggest smiles ever. We were always cracking each other up when we were working together, so it is no surprise when I got to go have my picture taken with the bride that it took extra long because we had to try and keep ourselves from laughing so we could hold a pose for long enough. I am so blessed to call her a friend. I loved getting to dress up for the occasion and going out for the night to enjoy such an exciting cultural event. 

peace. love. and silence.