my transition to adult life

You know how sometimes you are carrying a pile of laundry from your room to the washer and you drop a sock, so you go back to pick it up, but when you're picking up that sock, you drop three more, and then you try to pick those up and you drop pretty much everything? That's kind of what my life feels like right now.

I had this perfect beautiful summer where I pretended like responsibility wasn't a real thing, and I just played all day every day (Which by the way I think is one of the best decisions I have ever made. I would recommend it to anyone who has that opportunity when they graduate). But, now it is Fall and the thing is? I HAVE TO HAVE RESPONSIBILITY NOW. Didn't look for a job all summer? You should probably get one. Never worked out but ate anything you wanted cause you were adventuring all the time? Not gunna work so well for ya anymore. Avoided having any sort of relationship? Oh yeah. Dating. lol. Stayed out all night every night? Haha tell that to your alarm clock at 7:00 am every morning!

Ok, I think you probably get it. I just felt like I had fallen apart after graduation with not knowing what I wanted to do, not knowing where I wanted to go, having no clue what to do with my life, and a break up on top of that. So, I pretended like everything was perfect and eventually it kind of was, but now it's time to be serious again. I'm working a temp job, looking for a real job, and trying to figure out what the next few years of my life look like, because I just have absolutely no clue (and apparently that's a very popular interview question). 

Me in the office trying to pretend like I'm an adult vs. me in my natural carefree element. Yeah...which one do you think suits me better?

In my attempt to put myself together into a responsible adult again, I've been looking to a lot of books for inspiration (once an English major always an English major I guess), and I found Cheryl Strayed who wrote a beautiful memoir Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail. I came across this sentence, and I realized it was exactly what I needed:

"I realized there was nothing left to do but go, so I did"

So my goals now: stop being so terrified of responsibility, stop waiting to get the perfect job before being willing to look anywhere further than next Tuesday, and go. I don't know where, but go. 

peace. love. and responsibility.