my thoughts on being in my early twenties

      I am aware that I am in my VERY early twenties right now, twenty-one actually...ok twenty-one and a half, so I'm hardly an expert on the subjects. But, maybe because I've been reading a lot of articles on Thought Catalog recently or maybe because warm weather makes me feel pensive, but I've been thinking a lot about my stage of life right now, and I've come to the conclusion that your early twenties are just a weird time of life. And don't get me wrong, I don't mean weird in a bad way....just in a weird way. It pains me a little to do this, but I'm about to quote Taylor Swift in a blog post where I am trying to be kind of serious, but it's true, we are "happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time. It's miserable and magical."
     I don't think I'm alone here when I say that there is a lot of confliction in the life of an early-twenty-something. You are making major life decisions and expected to act like an adult, but you still feel like a little kid most of the time; you aren't worried enough about important decisions like what you are going to do with the rest of your life, but you are really concerned with the number of likes on your most recent instagram post; you are in a state of nomadism so nothing is ever permanent; you want the comfort of a relationship, but the freedom of singleness; your mind changes constantly about what you think you want; some nights everyone you have ever met will want to hang out with you and other nights you will sit on the couch watching old episodes of Gossip Girl hoping that someone will text you, cause everything always happens on one night and no social events ever spread themselves out properly; you feel this weird mixture of being very social and exciting and being really lonely and boring; at 4 p.m. in the middle of your class you are pretty positive that you have never been this tired in your entire life, but when 12 a.m. rolls around and you think it would be smart to go to bed, you have never had so much energy, and so on and so on....ok, so I think you get what I am saying. Everything is a little out of whack. But, I guess this is what makes being in your early twenties that awesome mix of "miserable and magical."
     I seriously feel like a constant jumble of crazy, but really in the best way possible. I have been really trying to learn to enjoy everything not being perfect, which is somewhat hard for someone who is very controlling. When I was young, people in their twenties seemed so old and so responsible. Now that I am in my twenties, I realize that we are not. We are confused, excited, anxious, impatient, happy, free, and really just trying to figure it all out. And, my guess is that whatever the next stage of life is really won't be much different, I'm not sure if life ever completely sorts itself out....but, thank goodness that in my early twenties I have decided the answer to most of my problems is Diet Coke...so thank goodness for the early twenties metabolism too. I'm not gunna trade that for anything.

peace. love. and twenties.

my rambling...and rambling, and rambling

     Oh boy! Just remembered that it is Sunday and that it would be a pity to fail on my weekly blog posting so close to the end of the year, and also so close to my 100th blog post (yeah, it's gunna be big people). Anyways, I started trying to write out some thoughts when I was on the airplane, but I don't know what it is about flights they make me sappy. Seriously though, the number of times that I have burst into tears on an airplane is questionable. It is so embarrassing. But, I also cried the other day when a Google Chrome commercial came on (it was beautiful. no, really though, it wasn't. I'm pathetic). But, anyways I think that really says something about my tear reflex, and mostly it says that it is out of control. I usually do a pretty good job of keeping it under wraps in public. But, my goodness if you want to see me in the fetal position, biting my jacket to keep from making sobbing sounds, and crying so hard that you think I might of actually gone insane, just show me the movie "Homeward Bound." Will Shadow make it out of the pit??? Will he?!?!?! You would think that I am unsure every time, mostly cause I am, cause I am blinded by my own tears. At least I'm not too ugly of a crier, no where near Kim Kardashian status (just google Kim Kardashian crying. You will see what I mean).
       Speaking of crying in movies, I am very glad that I choose to go and see "Perks of Being a Wallflower" with just my dear friend Kari, who bless her heart does her best to never judge me (but, I just can't blame her if she thinks I'm crazy every once in a while). Anyways, actually continued to cry half of the drive home. I can. not. be. controlled. But, that's not necessarily because of the movie I think it's more because it got me thinking about how I treat people. I could be nicer. I really should be nicer. You never know what anyone is going through. My freshmen year making a classic late night run to Denny's, when we were paying our checks and heading out I was so impressed by the way that one of the girls stopped and chatted with the workers about her jobs and about working late and truly connected with this woman that she had literally no connections with. It was beautiful and I was astounded and I have been trying better to relate to people and at least be nice to them ever since. Another thing I want to start trying to do is complimenting random people. For some reason, it just means a little more to me when a rando stops you to say, hey you are rocking those pants today. And I can think to myself yes. yes, I am rocking these pants, thank you for the confidence boost kind stranger. So my goal for the week is to compliment someone random about something at least twice this week. I just set this goal as I am writing this so try not to hold me too hard too it.
    Ok, so I'm just going on and on now kind of. Yeah. I don't know my brain is all mushy after the break. Yay for going home and exercising no brain activity! You may think I am a little crazy after reading this, but yeah it's as the title says. My Rambling. I just wrote things down as they came to me. I don't know haha. I should be embarrassed by this. I think I am. What did I even just write??

I don't know. Listen to this song "Stubborn Love" by the Lumineers and then be on your way.

peace. love. and tangents.