my Easter Sunday

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has been encouraging people to use the hashtag #becauseofhim, so I want to dedicate my Easter post to this. I rarely talk openly about my faith on social media, so bare with me I guess.

Because of him, I can do hard things. I can survive my lows. I can find joy in times of discomfort and I can find peace in times of trial. 

This is something that I learn more times than I want to, and something that I know I will keep learning. I've expressed on my blog before how last year was a really hard year for me. It wasn't just one thing that happened, it was everything. I felt like one thing was hitting me after another. I could never really gain control of my life, and this was particularly hard for me as someone who struggles with anxiety problems. It is especially hard for me to think back to one point where I felt so broken down that I finally kneeled and prayed and told my Heavenly Father I can't do this anymore. I very quickly felt a response of No, you can't, but we can. I have hit so many times in my life where relying on the Lord has been essential for me.

I have been thinking a lot about how when I am really struggling or really hurting that I tend to take this attitude of no one can really understand what I am going through. I think that a lot of people feel this way, and we cling to this adolescent idea that no one "gets" us. But really this is kind of true. Our experiences on this earth are all entirely unique to us. We are all effected by the same things in different ways. We feel our own pain, and we feel our own joy, and in a way, no one does get it. But, then I always remember that Jesus does. He suffered for us in the Garden of Gethsemane. He suffered for me. He experienced all my pain and all my joy, and He always knows exactly what I am going through.

I could not be more grateful to know that Christ lives. He has carried me through many trials and will carry me through many more. But, He is not only there when I am hurting, He is there when I am happy too, and I will praise Him continually for the comfort and happiness He gives me.

Because of Him, I can be with my family for forever.

Because of Him, I know that I will live again.

Because of Him, I am never more than a prayer away from feeling peace.

I know that Christ came to this earth to save us, I know that He died for us, and I know that He lives for us. My faith means everything to me, and I daily strive to live in a way that makes my love for Heavenly Father known to those around me.

peace & love, for He has risen

my pick-me-up

Sometimes you just need a pick-me-up. Sometimes you really really need one and your mom sends you a video of fall time in Georgia complete with crunchy leaves and your puppy (seriously sometimes moms just know what you need even when they don't know that you need it).

I've been feeling pretty down the past few days, so I've been searching around for all sorts of pick-me-ups and really it has helped in some small ways. If you know me or if you have read my blog, you know that I strongly believe that it is important to be positive, that you shouldn't allow negative energy in your life, and most importantly that both of these are entirely controlled by you. So, I've been trying very hard to make the right choices here, but sometimes it's just harder than others, and that's where the pick-me-ups come into play.

So, just in case you needed a pick-me-up too, here are some of the things that I turn to when I need a little brightening....

Nothing makes you feel better than looking good. Wearing sweatpants or a t-shirt cause you're just not feeling it that day will not make you feel better about yourself. I say it too much and I don't say it enough but: Look good. Feel good. Do good. (Really though, I need a shirt with that printed on it.)

Sometimes all you need is a good laugh. Fun fact, people used to tell me all the time when I was younger that I should be a stand up comedian. No no, I know you're thinking, what happened to this girl. She used to be funny??? I know I know, I still have my moments sometimes though, ok! But, even if I'm not making others laugh I still love to laugh myself, and let's be honest sometimes this includes laughing at myself cause I am just oh so uncomfortably aware of how insane I can be sometimes. So, just in case you need a laugh pick-me-up (don't even care that this meme is old cause I still laugh when I see it haterzz)...

Music is one of the ultimate pick-me-ups in life. I discovered Lord Huron about exactly a year ago, and I still listen to this album all the time. That is how good it is people. This album warms my soul, and I love it, and it makes me feel like I can go on any adventure that I want. So, in order to make myself feel a little better Lord Huron's Lonesome Dreams has actually been on repeat all day. 

And the place where I have found and always will find the most peace is the Gospel. Christ's love for me is incredible and I know that I can always find comfort in the Lord. I usually read through my scriptures by chapter, but last night I felt like I should venture around and do a little exploring. Where I didn't expect to find myself was reading scriptures about kindness. No matter how I am feeling, I must always always always remember to be kind, and I have no greater example to look to than Christ. After reading 1 Nephi 19:9 the only thing I could think all day was BE KIND. So, even though I might be just slightly lower than usual, I will not and cannot let myself forget that kindness comes first. Nothing will make you feel better about yourself and everyone around you than simple kindness.

I hope that if your day is a bummer that this makes you feel a little brighter, and even more so, I hope your day was already absolutely fantastic to begin with. 

Seriously though...

"Either you run the day, or the day run you."

Jim Rohn

peace. love. and pick-me-ups.

my life list gets shorter

For starters, General Conference. Which part of that doesn't scream awesome. Two days of hanging out in my pajamas and listening to beautiful messages from the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Score. Check out some of the "highlights" here!

Ok, but also this week...I crossed two things off of my Life List!!!

1. I went and saw a movie by myself.

This probably seems like a weird thing to have on a Life List, but I've always wanted to do it. I'm not exactly sure why though, maybe to assert my independence, maybe because I have a taste in movies that doesn't always align itself with the common crowd, maybe because I am a closet film addict, or maybe because I have some sort of need to prove to myself that I can be by myself and that that's ok. Really it was probably a combination of all of these. 

So I finally did it. Last Monday, since it was rainy, and I was in a bummer mood, and I felt a desperate need to get out of my apartment, and I have been wanting to see Silver Linings Playbook for awhile now I checked my movie app on my phone, saw that my movie was playing in about an hour, and I went. Lucky for me, movies in Provo at four in the afternoon on a Monday are pretty empty. In fact, I was the only person in the theater. It was awesome. Should you ever have the opportunity to have an entire theater to yourself, do it. Sprawled out across as many seats as I wanted, texted shamelessly during the movie, and laughed with no embarrassment. Plus the movie was really good and the message of looking for a silver lining in the worst of situations was exactly what I needed to reminded of. 

“If clouds are blocking the sun, there will always be a silver lining that reminds me to keep on trying...Most people lose the ability to see silver linings even though they are always there above us almost every day.” 

No one behind me....

No one in front of me. 

In the words of our dear friend Kelly Clarkson, "Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone." At least that's what we all tell ourselves right...Anyways. I actually loved this, and if I disappear for a few hours and you can't find me, I might just be catching the latest film...by myself. 

2. I filled an entire journal.

I love pretty journals. I have a bit of a collection of them. Unfortunately, I like to look at my journals more than I like to write in them. But, thanks to General Conference this weekend and all of the notes that I took, I have now filled one. I really do love going back and looking at old things I wrote. The line in Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest when Gwendolyn says, "I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train" cracks me up (I am clearly feeling the quotes today...). 

I started this particular journal back in the Fall of 2011 and it is dedicated to all of my spiritual experiences and thoughts. 180 pages worth of spiritual progress in the last 2 years seems pretty good to me. 

But, another cool thing that I realized about this journal? It has a super cool Indian-esq design on it (which is probably what attracted me to it in the first place). When I was reading the inside cover this Sunday, I realized that just this summer had I traveled to the Tibetan monastery in Ladakh, India that this journal was designed after, and I hadn't even realized it. How cool is that?!?

Can't wait to cross more things off the list. I probably need to start adding more to it! 

If you want to see my full Life List, there is a tab underneath my blog header.

peace. love. and life lists. 

my missionaries

The end of the semester is always a happy occasion, cause you know...I'm done. I was especially ready for this semester to be over, but what I have not been ready for is to say goodbye to so many of my wonderful friends who are heading out on their missions. It is going to be WEIRD next semester to have so many people gone, especially these girls who were some of the first people that I became friends with at Brigham Young and even some girls that I only met just this semester, all of whom I have grown to love x 1000. I am so excited to see so many young girls anxious to serve the Lord and spread the gospel of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints But, that doesn't mean that I'm not feeling a little selfish and wishing that they were staying with me. So, thanks to all you wonderful diligent girls going to serve the Lord, even if you are leaving me behind.

...and thank you for making it so that I am one of the only girls left in Provo to date...just kidding (sort of. ok yeah. not really kidding at all.)

Guess I will be writing a lot of letters next semester and also hearing some very incredible stories (I've already started getting letters from my friend in Costa Rica and I love it). To give you an idea of where some of my friends are going...

Paris, France

Lyon, France

Costa Rica

New York, New York

South Korea

Jamaica

Vancouver, Canada

Boston, Massachusetts 

Santiago, Chile

Lisbon, Portugal

and those are just a few of the ones that I can think of right now!!

Just in case you were wondering, I do not have immediate plans to serve a mission, but it is something that I will continue to reevaluate as time goes by. I feel that choosing to go on a mission is a personal decision between me and Heavenly Father. The only thing that I am positive of right now is that we both have big plans for me, but I'm still discovering what those are.

To learn more about the missionary work that my church is doing, check out some of these articles!

         Who are the missionaries? & How to meet with them!

         Recent changes to the age requirements for missionaries


peace. love. and missionaries.

my general conference bliss

I think most people that know me, are aware that I am a happy member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Well, this weekend was the 182nd Semi Annual General Conference for our church. I'm pretty sure this is almost every Mormon's favorite weekend, as it is our opportunity to hear messages from the general authorities of our church. I feel so blessed to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and to know of God's love for me, and because of God's love for me I can find a greater love and appreciation for the brilliant people that surround me. Hear some of the beautiful messages from this weekend at www.lds.org


"the call is to COME. to stay TRUE. to LOVE GOD"
-Elder Holland



peace. love. and general conference

my adjusting period

Really, maybe this sounds insane, but I'm still having a really hard time not being in India. But, a friend who is still in India posted this quote on Facebook today from Thomas S. Monson (the president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints)

"We have all experienced times when our focus in on what we lack rather than on our blessings. Said the Greek philosopher Epictetus, 'He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.'" Thomas S. Monson

Well, I think these past few weeks I have been falling into the category of a foolish man. Time to stop being sad that I am not in India and focus on how wonderful it is to be here at Brigham Young University, eh?

So, what is so great about being back?

Well, it's good to be learning again. I for sure had to clear some cob webs out of my brain because I hadn't really been in school for about 8 months prior to this. oh wow. (I might not be thinking it is so great to be learning again though when it comes to my first test...or goodness gracious first essay!)

Also, I'm back on the social scene, but I am pretty sure I am currently socially awkward. It's all good though, I'll eventually feel normal here again? wait...I've always been a little socially awkward...ok who knows. I'm back to meeting people and what not though, so I guess that's cool. And the people I have met are cool, so that's cool too...cool.

Lastly, it has come to my attention, that it is time to join a gym. After going to an iPod dance party and feeling like I just died after a little over 30 mins of ridiculous dancing (really ridiculous, it's kind of the point of an iPod dance party), I realized I should probably start kickin' it into shape. Back to real life, back to being fit! Ok, so the gym options in Provo seem to be Golds Gym or 24 Hour Fitness. I have been trying to figure out which one would be better to join and asking around, but if you are a member of either of these gyms or have some advice, give me a holler. I need your help here friends. 

peace. love. and readjusting